Improve Your Marriage: 10 Tips to a Better Marriage
by April Kuenzi
Do you want to improve your marriage?
I'm sure if you are like most people your marriage is always something you feel you can improve on, especially because
your spouse is the one person you promised before God "till death do us part". So while we are still living
lets spend some energy to make our marriage the blessing that God intended them to be.
Starting January 5, 2009 there is a "Love Dare" beginning. "The Love Dare" by Stephen
& Alex Kendrick and Lawerence Kimbrough is a book made known by the movie "Fireproof". (A plug for the movie
- you will laugh, you will cry, definitely a must see!). "The Love Dare" is a 40-day journey to improve your
marriage. I invite you to join me and many others to share in this "dare" together.
To get
you started, I have compiled a list of 10 tips to improve your marriage.
1) Love is A Choice
NOT An Emotion
I chose this tip or choice as #1 because until
you realize this you will not be willing or able to complete the next steps. It is not always easy to love because of
our emotions getting involved, but it is definitely worth making the choice to love than not to love.
2) Listen
Some women may be saying, look at this one men, but the truth
of the matter is we all can use work on our listening skills. We can not communicate well if we are not truly listening
to the other person.
3) Fight Fair
You probably know exactly what I am saying with this one. If you are married,
then you are at least 18 and it is time to realize you are an adult and need to act like one. It is time to take responsibility
for your words and actions. (Now, don't get mad at me for putting that bluntly. Realize I am talking to myself
the same time I am talking to you.)
4) Think Before You
Speak
Sometimes when we are with someone we know loves us we take advantage of that. We are the most
honest and vocal with the ones we love. Now for communication purposes this is great but make sure you think about the
words that are coming out of your mouth. Words can inflict quite the amount of pain and when you are as close to someone
as you are your spouse you know exactly how to make those words sting.
5) Be Slow to Anger
This tip goes along with the last two because if you have a spouse that is not following
#3 and #4 or if you are struggling with those two tips, then this is going to be a little more of a challenge.
Boy do things change dramatically when you choose to follow this tip! You will be amazed how your perspective changes
of your spouse and your marriage. You will truly be a more happy and positive person to be around.
6) Love Unconditionally - No One is Perfect
Here is another tip that may seem obvious but
it is easier said then done. To truly love unconditionally you have to over look those annoying habits, those past transgression,
anything and everything that would give you one negative thought towards your spouse. Choose to focus on the positive
characteristics of your spouse. You know there are some there some where. You did marry this person after all,
right?:)
7) Forgive
If you are having a hard time loving your spouse unconditionally could it be that you
need to forgive them? We all mess up. We all say things we don't mean. We all do things that we would
like to undo. If you truly want to have a great marriage, the amazing union that God intends, then you are going to
have to forgive even those transgressions that you feel there is no way that you can forgive. Again #1, Love is a Choice!
Forgiveness is also a choice. Once you make the choice to forgive you will see that it is not really your spouse
you are letting off, but you will be freeing yourself from the anger and resentment that you have been holding onto.
8) Be Unselfish
A great way to show your spouse that you love
them is to do something for them. Don't always be thinking how they need to change or what they need to do for you.
You make the step to do something for them or think of a way you can change to better the marriage. Again, this
is something that you will find truly blesses you as it is improving your marriage.
9) Take Time for Each
Other
Having young children myself this is always
a struggle. With all the commitments we have these days and how busy our lives have become - where do we find the time?
If you want to improve your marriage you will make time for each other. One of our favorite things to do (well at least
mine) is to plan a surprise for the other person. It could be as simple as an unexpected take out dinner in the bedroom
after the kids are in bed, or as elaborate as blind-folding your spouse and whisking him/her off to a romantic weekend
away. The reason this is definitely my favorite way to spend time together is because it shows in an action to your
spouse your love for them. You know what they say actions speak louder then words.
10) Pray Together
Last but
by far not the least is to pray together. Have you ever heard of the triangle marriage analogy? God is at the
top of the triangle and your spouse and you are each at one of the other corners. The closer each of you grows towards
God the closer you get to each other. As you are growing and praying individually it will improve your marriage, but
when you come together to grow towards God and pray together, your marriage will never be the same.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20
Your marriage may be horrible, it may be mediocre,
or it may be fine. If you take any one of these tips or all ten and start to apply them you will be moving into a marriage
that is beyond anything that you could have imagined. A marriage that is what God intended it to be - the magnificent
union between one man and one woman, the most blessed union we can experience here on earth. My hope is that this will
be a help and encouragement in your marriage.
JOIN ME!!!
***Starting January
5, 2009, join me and many others as we take on "The Love Dare", (by Stephen & Alex Dendrick
and Lawerence Kimbrough). ***
