Day 20 - Are You Saved?  Do You Know Where You Will Spend Eternity?

Day 20's dare challenge is to think about your relationship with God.  Specifically about your eternity and where you will spending it.  Some of you may not have any idea what I am talking about and some may be fellow believers in Chirst.  I have attached a link to our church's website to explain in detail what it means to be saved, how to know where you are going when you die and how you can have the reassurance that you will live forever with Jesus Christ in heaven.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes on Him should not perish but have everlasting life!  John 3:16

Calvary Bible Fellowship
http://www.calvarybiblefellowship.com/Statements.htm#STATEMENT_VII

Day 21 - Take Time To Pray and Read Your Bible Daily

Day 19 - Look Back Over The Past Dares Have You Needed To Change?

Looking back through the 18 days of the Love Dare I would have to honestly say I needed to change more then I thought I would when I started the Love Dare.  The dares have brought thoughts to the surface and realizations of how my actions affect my marriage. 

So I humbly say I am happy that I set out on the journey of the Love Dare and I hope it has been eye opening and a blessing in your marriage!

Day 20 - Are You Saved?  Do You Know Where You Will Spend Eternity?

Day 18 - Make A Nice Dinner for Your Spouse and Get To Know Them Better

This dare for me fell on Thursday, January 22, but I am swapping the days around because tonight Saturday, January 24, my husband and I are going out to dinner. (which is a rarity)  I will let you know how I got to know my husband better soon!

Day 19 - Look Back Over The Past Dares Have You Needed To Change?

Day 17 - Discuss and Keep Your Spouse's Personal Thoughts and Struggles Safe

Today I can't tell you too much about what was talked about or I would not be fulfilling the dare.  I hope you took the time to talk to your spouse about their struggles and discussed the issues that they are dealing with. 

The love for my husband grew realizing he is not perfect and I am not the only one who struggles.  We both struggle in different areas.  We can pray for each other in these areas and pray for God to help us change for the better.

Day 18 - Make A Nice Dinner for Your Spouse and Get To Know Them Better

Day 16 - Pray for Your Spouse In 3 Specific Areas

I liked today's dare to come up with some specific areas to pray for our spouses.  I'm sure we all already pray for our spouses on a regular basis but it was great to sit down and think about some specific areas that we would like to pray more for our spouse.

3 Areas I Will Be Praying for My Spouse

1)  Wisdom to be able to lead our family in the will of God.

2)  Direction in his career and desires for a business.

3)  He would love me and our family more today then yesterday.

I am going to go a step further with today's dare and write these out on a note card and place them in my bible where we have been reading together (check out the article in Your Marriage section - Reading through Your Bible In One Year With Your Spouse).  My mind is so full with the craziness of life that those important areas I want to pray for my spouse end up getting lost some where up there.  This way everyday I will be reminded of the specific areas that I would like to pray for my husband. 

Day 17 - Discuss and Keep Your Spouse's Personal Thoughts and Struggles Safe

Day 15 - Show Your Spouse More Respect and Honor Then You Normally Would

I think Day 15 is a great challenge for everyday!  Something I have been noticing about myself through out this dare is that I do say things that if it were reversed I would not want said to me. 

My husband is very easy going and it doesn't set him off if I sometimes say things that are bothering me.  I have noticed that by saying these things I am being very disrespectful.  If my spouse told me things that I was not doing or that he wanted done differently on a regular basis it would crush me. 

To be fair to myself and the women out there I do think there is a difference in the way we react to these types of comments because of the difference in the emotional make up of males and females.  A lot of times our husbands don't take things the same way that we do.  Males are just not as emotional as females and that is a good thing because that is the way God created us!

Day 15 of the Love Dare challenge is going to stay with me on a daily basis.  I will try to do a little more of rule #4 from Day 13, Think Before You Talk.

Day 16 - Pray for Your Spouse In 3 Specific Areas

Day 14 - Neglect Your Activity and Choose Something Your Spouse Would Like to Do

I just began creating this website and blog a few weeks ago which many of you may know.  With just getting a website/blog going there is a ton of time commitment at the beginning.  So I chose to spend time with my spouse instead of working on the website.  (I am sorry these last few days of the dare have all been posted on the same day.  I do think that was probably the better choice of prioritizing time with my spouse though, right?) :)

We didn't do anything too exciting but he did get my undivided attention!

Day 15 - Show Your Spouse More Respect and Honor Then You Normally Would

Day 13 - Rules to Fighting Fair

On Day 13 you are suppose to discuss with your spouse (if it doesn't start a fight) or brainstorm on your own rules of engagement while in a fight.  I was able to come up with a couple rules that I have to remind myself of in the heat of the moment and my husband came up with a couple too.

The Kuenzi Marriage Rules of Fair Fighting:

1)  Don't Bring Up the Past

I don't think that this has been too difficult to keep in check for either of us but is a good rule to keep in mind at all times.  At anytime you can find yourself making a tally to use against your spouse during an upcoming battle.

2)  I Statements vs You Statements

Here is where you don't point the finger at the other party during a fight but use statements like.....
I feel.....
I want.....
I need........

Instead of saying things like.....
You make me feel.......
You always........
You never.........

You are still sharing what you do and do not like that your spouse is doing, or what you need differently from your spouse but in a way that doesn't put them on the defense.

3)  Know When To Quit Talking

I came up with this one for myself because when my mind gets going I sure would like to let my tongue loose too.  I know I need to quit talking!  You say things that you don't really mean, and your mind makes things into more then they are - remember not to sweat the small stuff.  Easier said then done because nothing is small stuff in my mind in the middle of a heated battle! :)

4)  Think Before Your Speak

My husband came up with this one which I thought was interesting.  It told me this is probably the reason I get so frustrated when he is taking forever to talk, he is thinking before he says something he knows will get him into trouble.

I hope that today you were able to talk with your spouse about fighting fair and were able to come up with a list of rules for your marriage.  Please feel free to share your rules with me and I will post them on the blog!

Day 14 - Neglect Your Activity and Choose Something Your Spouse Would Like to Do Instead

Day 12 - Willingly Giving In

On Day 12 we are challenged to give in to an argument that we are having with our spouse.  There has been an ongoing discussion/argument in our household of the number of children we will be having.  So far we have two little blessings and the third is due at the end of March. 

I thought before we were married we discussed this and I had stated I would like to have a big family.  When I thought of what number that a big family means I came up with the number four.  Not too big, not too small, just right in my mind.  My husband grew up with two children in the family and, what I remember discussing, didn't want a huge family but wasn't necessarily set either way.  Another thing that I remember being discussed was we would have one at a time and we will see what God has in store for our family.

Now it seems that even before baby number three is here we are arguing over whether there will be a number four.  Poor baby number three doesn't even get a chance yet!:)  I do think I made up my mind about the number four since our premarital discussions, but my stand on a "big" or medium size family hasn't changed.  I realize I am not being fair with what was said about focusing on one at a time and then we would see, so as hard as it is I am choosing to back down from this argument.

Choosing to back down is one thing, if I am honest in my mind I still think I will win in the future.  Then I realize that I am not really backing down at all if I think I will get my way anyway.  So to my husband and the whole world I am agreeing to do what we set out in the beginning of baby making to do, one at a time and then we will see.  That does not mean that I still don't want four, because I do, but I realize there are two to this decision making process and I truly do respect and love my husband and want to show that, by allowing him to have half of the input here too.

So far Day 12 has been the hardest day for me!  I hope your day went a little easier.

Day 13 - Make Rules with Your Spouse on Fair Fighting