Day 11 - Find A Need You Can Meet for Your Spouse

Finding a need to meet for your spouse can be easy and can be challenging.  I was able to accomplish this dare only because I chose last night to go shopping.  I asked my husband if he needed anything......

He needed his LP tank filled at Ace Hardware.  He needed special bulbs for his work light from Farm N Fleet and then he went on with a list just to tease me. 

I set out to take care of his errands before I did my shopping.  This may not seem like to big of a deal but when the high yesterday was below zero, all parking lots and roads are pretty much snow/ice covered and I was lifting a full LP tank at 7 1/2 months pregnant, I decided I had out done myself for Day 11!


Day 12 - Give In To An Area of Disagreement Between You and Your Spouse

Day 10 - Do Something For Your Spouse To Show Them You Love Them

This dare was a nice one to do.  You could do just about anything for your spouse that you know they would enjoy.  I decided to make my husband cookies.  I haven't been baking much since the holidays so it was over due.  He had fresh chocolate chip cookies hot from the oven when he got home from work.  (I do think that nice welcome home kiss is throwing him off though!:))

After we had our fill of cookies I threw them in the freezer because my husband likes his cookies either right from the oven or frozen.  Sounds funny but try it they are great frozen!

I hope you had fun on Day 10 doing something for your spouse!

Day 11 - Find a Need You Can Meet for Your Spouse

Day - 9 Greet Your Spouse In A Way That Shows Your Love For Them

I have always tried to make a big deal with the kids that daddy was home.  When I see him coming down the road I get the kids to run to the front window and then when he pulls in the driveway we all run to the back door to greet him when he is coming in. In the last few months it seems that I have been missing some of the nights to remind the kids that I see daddy.

The kids and I are back on track to greet daddy when he gets home and I have added a big wet kiss from me to show him how much I love him.  (It's ok, were married!)  I think he was pleasantly surprised to get more attention instead of just hi honey over my shoulder while making supper.

This was a fun day to think about how elaborate you wanted to get.  Some of you who are also doing this dare send me a comment on how you decided to greet your spouse.

Day - 10 Do Something Out of the Ordinary For Your Spouse

Day - 8 Destroy the Negative List About Your Spouse
Celebrate An Achievement of Your Spouse

Destroying the negative list really gives you a sense of letting go of the negative attributes of your spouse.  Then to focus on what they are great at, how can we not be in love with our spouse right now.

I love to talk to my spouse about his work.  It is above my head but I am always so impressed with some of the things that he works on during the day.  I should probably let you know he is an Auto Technician.  Nowadays you definitely can not just work on your own vehicle.  A lot of what he does is quite advanced with computers and everything coming together just exactly.  I am truly proud of my husband and the work that he puts in to provide for our family.  That is probably why I like to talk to him about his work.  If you knew my husband you would know he was made for this type of work and loves doing it!

I am hoping now that it is the end of 2008 and a new year has begun, we can soon be celebrating his achievement of a raise???

Day - 9 Greet Your Spouse In A Special Way Today

Day - 6 Where Do I Need To Change?
Day - 7 Make A List of the Positive & Negative About Your Spouse
Thank Your Spouse for One of The Positives

I am a day behind on the posting of The Love Dare in our marriage, so I am combining Day 6 & 7 here.

Day 6 Where Do I Need To Change?

I can come up with a nice long list of where I can use some work.  The main theme of the list I believe is giving up control.  I have been working on this for awhile now but there is still more to be done.

Wanting to be in control of things or thinking that I need to be in control is what I need to change.  Does anyone else out there feel that if you don't keep things going (or stay in control of everything) the house of cards will all just tumble?  I do realize I am not in control, only God is!  That realization sometimes gets pushed to the back of my mind when the pressure of life starts to build.  When the pressure is there, I think things should be done a certain way and at a certain time (NOW!).  Here is where I need to take a step back and realize I am not the one holding up the cards of this house! 

Things will get done when and how they get done, with or without me.  (Note:  To be honest if you are a woman, wife or mother, you know not everything will get done without you.  No offense to the men out there you just don't see everything like a woman's eyes do.)  The point here is to relax and let the things get done that actually need to get done and the rest will be there for later but that is not the end of the world.

Let go of control.  Choose to care and think about what is important.  Have you told your family you love them today?  Have you read a book to your children?  Have you taken a moment to think about your spouse and if there is something they had asked you to do for them?  Have you thanked God for the numerous blessings He has showered on you? 

Day - 7 Make A List of the Positive & Negative About Your Spouse
Thank Your Spouse for One of the Positives

I like lists and I like to analyze things, so this was enjoyable for me.  Whether your list is balanced or one sided, this is a great exercise to do every now and then.  It will show you where you need to let go of negatives and where you need to focus, on the positive.

I have a sappy marriage over hear, I definitely have more positive then negative for my husband.  Don't worry I came up with some negative, no one is perfect but I have been blessed greatly by my husband coming into my life.  I then did thank him for some of those positive attributes and let him know how much I appreciate him. 

I am taking away more then I expected from the last couple days.  I want to be less consumed with responsibility or at least the control factor of it and I want to thank my husband more for what he does for me and our family.  I know when I choose to focus on these positives and relax about life I am a happier person and definitely more enjoyable to be around.

I hope you can come away with some things you are changing for your marriage and for yourself!

Day - 8 Take the Negative List About Your Spouse and Destroy It
Celebrate an Accomplishment Your Spouse Just Completed

Day - 5  Ask Your Spouse Three Things that Irritate Them About You

On Day 5 of the Love Dare we are to ask our spouse three things that we do that they are irritated with.  When they answer we may not justify our actions or get upset.

I asked the question to my husband and he came up with only one that had many different things attached.  The main time that he is irritated with me is when I remind him how fast he is going (speeding) and to slow down.  Of course I don't normally stop there.  If I notice he doesn't slow down to the speed limit I like to "remind" him again.  From my perspective I am just trying to help us not get a ticket, spending money we don't have, and our insurance going up.  As the dare states it is not my perspective or justification that we are going with here so I kept my mouth shut!

This irritation lead to then the trash or in his words "anything" that I tell him or remind him to do.  The speeding was not news to me but the rest was.  I needed a little clarification which after asking if he could explain more it sounded like it wasn't as much as an irritation every time until I become the nagging wife. 

Ok, not as bad as I was expecting.  I could have come up with quite the list of things I would like to change about myself.  I think this is a good example of the kind of love we should have for our spouse.  My husband is good at not letting things get to him, not sweating the small stuff.  I believe I will take my lead from him (what a concept, since biblically I am already suppose to be doing that) and try to ignore the little irritations I notice of anyone in my life.

I hope that there were no heated battles going on around the country yesterday when you asked your spouse this question.  If so, today is a new day and we all mess up.  So forgive and let's move on.  I will start letting you know what the following day's dare is so that you will be able to benefit from doing it too. 

Day 6 - React Lovingly to Tough Situations in Your Marriage & Make A List of Areas You Need to Change and Become a Less Irritating Person (oh, fun!)

Read Through Your Bible In One Year with Your Spouse

When looking at a new year we see it as a fresh start.  What do we want to accomplish in the coming year?  What do we want to change from previous years and do differently in the coming year?

My husband and I don't sit down formally to review the past year and look to the next year but we both did have one desire to do together this year.  We wanted to read our bible together more this year.

Our pastor at our church was giving the challenge to read your bible everyday and to get through the entire bible within one year.  So we decided that this would be a good way to read the bible more together.

Ok I will be totally honest with you on this blog I have not officially ever read through the whole bible.  There I said it!  Now you again can compare your expectations to my actions and we are all feeling confident to take on the challenge of reading through the whole bible in one years time!

Getting back to it then, our pastor had a hand out that broke the bible up into a reading schedule for the entire year.  I have tried to do this before (reading through the bible in one year) and have not really liked the reading schedules that take you all over the bible so that you are reading the same amount everyday.  Those types of schedules tend to lose me.  I have a hard time following the content that I am reading when it is so broken up.  The schedule we received from our pastor is one that I am loving!  It is very simple and straight forward and reads through the bible how it is laid out.

To start the reading schedule, every day of the year you will read two chapters of the old testament starting in Genesis chapter one.  Along with the two chapters in the old testament, you also read every weekday a chapter in the poetry books (Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon) starting in Psalms chapter one and a chapter in the new testament starting with Matthew chapter one.  That means on the weekends you only read the two chapters from the old testament which is nice because a lot of times it is Saturday and Sunday that throw off a good commitment with the busyness of life.  It looks like we will finish the old testament at the end of the year, the poetry books in the beginning of November and the new testament at the end of the year.

You will read more on some days then other days but on the shorter chapter days it won't take much time to read at all.  One other bonus now that I am looking at the schedule, Psalm 119 is broken into 22 days!  That is why I love this schedule, I can actually focus my attention on what I am reading when I don't have to read 176 verses in one sitting.

My husband and I started this reading schedule on January 1 and have not missed a day so far.  (Yes I know it is only the 9th, but it only takes two weeks to form a habit I have heard!)  I thought we would get up earlier and start our day with reading God's word.  We found for our family and work situation that we have clearer minds and can focus more together in the evenings before we go to bed.

I believe this is one of the best goals or challenges to take on for the new year.  To read your bible everyday or to read with your spouse everyday is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your marriage. 

If you have any questions how much you are suppose to read each day just send me an email.  (Sorry, I threw out the company information that was on the reading schedule.)  If you really are wanting the schedule for yourself I can find out from our church where they can be purchased.

Here's to happy reading and spiritual growth!!!

Day 4 - Call Your Spouse Unexpected

Well today was pretty straight forward and easily done.  I don't have a lot of experiences to share for Day #4 of the dare so I thought I would share what my husband and I are also doing to improve our marriage in the year 2009.  Read the next post for this exciting information!

Day 3 - Buy Your Spouse Something

Today we continued to not say anything negative to our spouse and to show them that we were thinking about them, we were suppose to buy them something.  I liked the idea of this one, think more about your spouse and spend more time and energy on them. 

Wanting to live frugally and having a tight budget, we do not just run out to buy something unexpected.  That gave me the challenge of fulfilling the dare without using any money.  Yes, for today I fulfilled the dare!

I thought instead of spending money I would save my husband money!  We have been watching the mortgage rates as many of you have and I was able to get us locked in at 4.625%!  WOW!  I was happy with saving just under $200 a month and I know my husband would be thrilled with my rate lock when he arrived home.  This does benefit the whole family but when my husband is the bread winner the pressure is relived off of his shoulders when I can help us spend less a month.

I didn't stop there.  You lock in that low of a rate, you think you can conquer the world.  So I set out to conquer home owners and auto insurance.  Ok a little step down from the world but still quite a feat.  I didn't save us as much money but I found that we were not covered for things that we thought we were, and we had too much insurance for other parts of the policy.

To save your family money, make sure to watch every 6 months or every year when you receive those insurance statements that you still know how much you are paying.  Our home owners went up over 30% in one year - ouch!  Time to shop around and make sure you are getting what you are paying for.

***Tip***
Depending on your situation do you need more then liability on your autos?  Are they older?  Talk to your insurance agent and analyze your situation.  The cost for comprehensive and collision almost doubles your total cost every six months.  Don't do anything because I said so!  Just look at the situation and discuss what your family's needs are.

You do get a nice high when you go shopping to purchase something new.  The high and satisfaction that stays with you day after day and month after month from saving your family all that money, by far out ways it! 

Day 1 - Patience

Today we are challenged to not say anything negative to our spouses.  We are to be patient and hold our tongue.  So is this difficult for anyone else?  I seem to think that I am being a help or reminder when for instance the trash is overflowing and needs to go out.  Not necessarily anything negative about reminding my spouse, right?

I am taking away today that even though it may not seem to be negative but just a reminder that is not actually the case.  Men do not like to be reminded or nagged as many like to call it.  It affects their pride to be told what to do.  They are the king of their castle and do not need to be told what to do.  That means us queens need to hold our tongues for the sake of the kingdom.  Now this is a good thing to acknowledge that your husband is the king of the castle.  God intended this order and we need to obey and respect that.